Philip's Favorite Quotes About Cars


"Speed is always better than cush in instances when they are mutually exclusive. Thus the car is louder than your dad's Oldsmobile, vibrates more than a Triumph, and is fussier to drive around than a Beamer...and that's the way we like it."
HOT ROD Magazine, Dec. 1997, pg. 38

"As long as it's in primer, it's got an elment of potential. Once it's Painted, you're done!"
HOT ROD Magazine, Dec. 1997, pg. 102

"You see, letters to Chrysler attack the wrong guilty party. Instead you should target TV shows that hype roll-over problems; a government that issues rulings over mileage, noise, and safety; and a populace willing to overlook its own stupidity and sue manufacturers."
4WHEEL & OFF-ROAD, JAN. 1998, PG. 10

"When we quote dates, it's usually the owner's claim, which can vary depending on how rebuilt, over-swapped, or stolen the truck is. Don't believe everything you read on a pink slip.
4WHEEL & OFF-ROAD, JAN. 1998, PG. 10

"It's ugly and it's never been stuck. Hello dream truck."
4WHEEL & OFF-ROAD, JAN. 1998, PG. 24

"Anyone can restore an antique; it takes a real man to cut one up."
HOT ROD MAGAZINE, JAN. 1998, PG. 40

"Be happy you have a great example of good, old American iron for fun, and buy an econobox for commuting to save the environment.
4WHEEL & OFF-ROAD, Feb. 1998, PG. 143

"Who is the typical VW water-cooled enthausist? They are usually well educated, young, and enjoy the pleasure of driving a real car. A car that you can actually feel going into a turn, hear the exhaust note, with the response of the throttle. This is a rarity in the vast sea of mind numbing Japanese coffins which usually shield the occupant from everything the road has to offer. Those poor souls! We can only try to convince them at the stop-light, as they squint to see the shiny emblem that reads Volkswagen flying into the sunset."
H20 IS COOLER, http://www.randomc.com/~lee/

"The bottle, juice, the Button, laughing gas, spray, fast gas, blower-in-a-bottle--whatever."
HOT ROD MAGAZINE, Feb. 1998, PG. 33

"Races are more often lost by driver performance than by vehicle performance."
HOT ROD MAGAZINE, Feb. 1998, PG. 65

"I eagerly await 5 o'clock, when I can run out to my car (not really run more like skip), jump in, turn on the new Radiohead CD and enjoy the drive home. I love driving my car. Plain and simple."
DIE H2O LoSUNG, Volume 2 No. 4, Winter 1998, PG. 10

"Nitrous is rarely the wrong thing to do."
CAR CRAFT, Feb. 1998, PG. 7

"Street racing isn't cool, but the cars that do it are."
CAR CRAFT, Feb. 1998, PG. 7

"If it goes fast, it doesn't need to look that good. Similarly, nearly anything can be cool if it goes fast."
CAR CRAFT, Feb. 1998, PG. 7

"If it's your car, no one should tell you how to build it. But I will anyway."
CAR CRAFT, Feb. 1998, PG. 7

"I can generally avoid a mechanic except when Iím either a) Swamped with work, or b) Too lazy to do it myself (usually because itís pouring rain, or thereís snow on the ground - Iíve got no garage)."
OFF-ROAD.COM, Mar. 1998, http://www.off-road.com/4x4web/suzuki/scottbio.htm

"Dirt. We've played in it since we were kids. Mothers hate the stuff because it's spelled doom for too many "good clothes" to count, Kids like it because it irritates their mothers. Off-Roaders consider it "The Divine Substance", capable of filling us with untold joy as we romp and play in it's many varied forms."
OFF-ROAD.COM, Mar. 1998, http://www.off-road.com/vw/ump/umppr.html

"You don't wheel much do you? I am in a local club we call Mud Junkies and the President of our club has a saying (if your not getting stuck, your not having fun!) I agree, if your not getting stuck, your not challenging your truck, if your not challenging your truck your not having fun. Have fun and get a winch."
MIKE SLABY, 18-MAR-1998 19:47:53.96, mslaby@waupacafoundry.com

"Don't forget that while there are some bright mechanics, many cars get fixed by people stupider than you."
PART PLACE INC., Catalog T, 1997, PG. T-17

"The best tool I ever purchased was... 'A two- pound hammer, since everything on a 4X4 will fight you either coming off or going on. It's fully adjustable, compact, and universal. Best of all, it usually makes stuff see things your way.'"
4WHEEL & OFF-ROAD, April 1998, PG. 108

"How many cars do you have? I have six. Now some of you may think that a bit excessive, but I am pretty sure it is the minimum number that I can get by with."
EUROPEAN CAR, April 1998, PG. 37

"Hot rodders are a demanding lot. We want fantastic throttle response and gobs of straight-line acceleration. We want notable fuel milage, too. We want impresive looks, a solid feel, and glued-to-the-road handling. We want it all."
HOT ROD, May 1998, PG. 100

"Most people only object to speed if it's someone else doing it. When they speed, it's okay. I guess it's kind of like smelling your own farts."
TOM REVAY, 30-Jun-1998 14:09:59, trevay@ici.net

"'Bogged-down-squelchy pump' transmission i.e. Auto"
Mr N Yahya, 19-Jul-1998 19:22:08, nadzri@bigfoot.com

"I'm sick. Very sick. No kidding--I can't stop buying cheap, thrashed project vehicles with money that could be better spent finishing one of my half-completed disasters."
CAR CRAFT, June 1998, PG. 7

"Multitiered plans to swap parts and build two or three awesome vehicles out of five or six junkers is a prime directive of beater building. Besides, any plan to use leftover parts further justifies the purchase."
CAR CRAFT, June 1998, PG. 7

"So there are just five plans--a mere ripple in the daily brain waves I dedicate to car projects."
CAR CRAFT, June 1998, PG. 7

"Is the New Beetle a functional design? No. Its body shape exists for one purpose only: Marketing. It is not easy to look at a reskinned two-door Golf and find any other compelling reason for its existence."
European Car, July 1998, PG. 10

"I was never a spectator, I don't sell cars. I buy them and fix them up."
European Car, July 1998, PG. 99


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